The official ages of heroes in Overwatch 2 seem to be very made up

For the game like Monitoring 2where her story leaked Dozens of disparate foreign media stories And not in one cohesive thing – you know, like, Video game campaign– There are bound to be contradictions along the way. But my lord, seeing the game’s 38 heroes suddenly get birth dates and base ages shows how strangely inconsistent these ages are with the timeline we know.

This is new fodder for the birth chart It comes from the official Observation and control website, which was updated this week to give each hero a birth date and legal age. Some of this makes sense, like how many old guard characters like Soldier: 76, Ana, and Reaper are in their late 50s and early 60s. The new kids in the group — like recent addition Elari being an 18-year-old solar queen, or D.Va being a 21-year-old eSports champion — will likely log out as well, since they’ve mostly been removed from the group’s schedule. Time is greater than Observation and control. When we start comparing the basic ages of the central characters, things start to get murky.

Kiriko, one of the new support heroes introduced Monitoring 2, is one of the most striking examples of mathematics and not mathematics. When Blizzard first revealed Kiriko, it claimed that she grew up with Genji and Hanzo, and trained alongside them in the ways of the sword. However, now that all the participants have official ages, things no longer make sense. We’re told that Genji and Hanzo are 37 and 40 years old respectively, while Kiriko is supposed to be 21 years old. On paper, I think these ages because each one of these heroes feels written in those ages, it’s putting these figures up against tradition, art and history. And the story we know doesn’t click. Look at this illustration of the three training in Kiriko original story trailer. Do you expect me to believe that there is almost 20 years of difference between these characters? Sure, Kiriko looks young and could be under 10 years old here, but do you expect me to believe Hanzo is close to 30 in this picture?

Fanboy attack I collected some examples to Observation and control Fans point out other oddities and inconsistencies. Consider Sojourn, who is now 47 years old. She introduced her sister, Valentine The spin-off novel “Overwatch 2: Sojourn”, would have been 14 years old when Sojourn’s niece Bonnie was born. It certainly isn’t impossiblebut this seems highly unlikely.

Personally, one of the biggest age questions that raises eyebrows Observation and control He is Farrah and Mercy, who become a canonical (possibly unrequited) pairing in the story when Farrah is revealed to be a lesbian during… The game’s first Pride event. Mercy is 39 years old, while Farah is 34 years old. Meanwhile, there is Farah art in Anna’s origin story that shows a very young Farah standing with much of the original Overwatch crew; The gap between the two appears to be much larger than five years.

Honestly with all Observation and controlThe narrative changes and shake-ups over the years, I get it. Trying to get this game’s story off the ground has been messy enough that expecting it to be tight and perfect in its timeline and lore is just nitpicking. But it’s funny to look at all the numbers next to each other and realize the majority Observation and control‘s story is more about emotions than just getting into the nitty-gritty of a timeline.

If you’re curious, here are everyone’s ages and birthdays:

tank

• D.Va.: June 22 (21)
• Doomfist: May 25 (47)
• Junker Queen: June 14 (31)
• Orissa: May 9, (1)
• Ramatra: March 29 (28)
• Reinhardt: June 26 (63)
• Roadhog: September 12 (50)
• Sigma: March 12 (64)
• Winston: June 6 (31)
• Wrecking Ball: October 15 (16)
• Zaria: December 4 (30)

Damage

• Ash: October 1 (41)
• Bastion: ??? (32)
• Cassidy: July 31 (39)
• Echo: February 5 (14)
• Genji: October 28 (37)
• Hanzo: November 3 (40)
• Junkrat: February 29 (27)
• May: September 5 (33)
• Farah: April 15 (34)
• Grim Reaper: December 14 (60)
• Residency: January 12 (47)
• Soldier: 76: January 27 (58)
• Sombra: December 31 (32)
• Symetra: October 2 (30)
• Torbjørn: September 21 (59)
• Tracking: February 12 (28)
• The Widow Maker: November 19 (35)

supports

• Anna: January 1 (62)
• Baptiste: March 12 (38)
• Brigitte: September 22 (25)
• Ilari: December 21 (18)
• Kirikou: July 7 (21)
• Live Weaver: April 28 (31)
• Lucio: March 20 (28)
• Mercy: May 13 (39)
• Moira: April 4 (50)
• Zenyatta: July 14 (33)

Moving forward, we must all agree to no longer ask for people’s birth marks; Now, we will ask each other which is which Observation and control The hero with whom we share the month of birth. Unfortunately, my own answer of “wrecking ball, smart hamster” doesn’t sound particularly great.