I looked up my daughter’s history on YouTube. I’m worried.

Care and Nutrition is Slate’s parenting advice column. Do you have a question about care and nutrition? Send it here.

Dear Care and Nutrition,

My daughter (a young teenager) is starting to eat less and less. A few weeks ago, she was eating three full meals a day, plus two snacks. She now eats two apple slices for breakfast, and claims she is not hungry enough to eat more than a small portion of her dinner. At school, she’s supposed to get school lunches, but over the past week or so, I haven’t received any notifications telling me she bought anything (her school uses an app system that alerts parents if their kids get anything). She rarely eats snacks.

I’m worried about her. I checked her YouTube channel last night (she knows I’m checking her phone). Her watch history is full of “diet tips” and “weight loss goals.” To be clear, she’s at a healthy weight, but she looks a little chubby for her age (though I’ve never told her this). I’m not sure how to start a conversation with her about this without making her defensive; I just want to help her.

-Losing weight is not necessary, she is a teenager

Dear, losing weight is not necessary,

You should gently confront your daughter about changes in her eating habits and the things she found in her search terms. Ask her why she feels she needs to lose weight; has anyone told her anything or is she just comparing herself to other girls? Let her know that it’s okay to want to be healthy, but that she doesn’t need to skip meals or count calories (and remind her that she’s a healthy weight now, and that no interventions are necessary).

You Can Encourage her to eat a balanced diet and exercise regularly instead of depriving herself. Talk to her about eating disorders and how dangerous it is for young people to restrict themselves too much when they are still growing and need large amounts of food every day. Involve her in meal planning and help her identify good-tasting items that nourish her body without excess salt or sugar, as well as some sweets and snacks that can be enjoyed as a reward. A guide to intuitive eating for teens Include body-positive tips for a healthy relationship with food. Affirm her body and make sure she is exposed to media and books that feature characters with different body types. Make sure you don’t say negative things about your body or anyone else’s body in front of her (and definitely don’t tell her you think she looks “a little chubby”).

If she is not able to adapt to eating well rather than just adjusting no When she eats, you should consider taking her to a therapist who treats young people with eating disorders; I’m not saying she has one, but you don’t want to wait until she does to take action.

-beautiful